2019: my year in review

Phew, what a fucking year.

I’m honestly ready to say goodbye to this year. Not because it was awful and I want to forget it. I’m just ready to move on and move forward. It was HARD but my goodness was it so damn good at the same time.

I loved hard. Like so hard. Traveled the most I’ve ever traveled. I learned the most I’ve ever learned and laughed some really big belly laughs along the way.

I made mistakes. Big ones.

BUT, I’ve learned from them. I’ve grown from them. And the best part about that is that I know in my heart. In my gut. I won’t be making those mistakes again.

That’s not to say I won’t be making other mistakes. Because let’s get real. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what we do after we make them that is important.

OKAY, let’s start with some lows

I was heartbroken this year. A lot of tears. A lot of hurt. And a lot of questions as to why this was happening to me. I know, sad. BUT, it taught me a lot. I learned how to regain some independence back. How to lean on myself more and more and for the first time in a decade, I didn’t chase love. I let it come to me. And that love came to me in the form of friendships and travel, knowledge and experiences.

Now before I move on, I do want to note that if you’re going through heartbreak right now, know that this wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t just wipe the tears away and jump into positivity and try to find a lesson/meaning. Having your heart broken fucking sucks. And you’re allowed to feel that. You’re allowed to be sad and angry and eat all the cookies in the world and cry while listening to music that you and your ex use to listen to. That’s okay. We’re all on our own timeline. SO, when you’re ready, know that you will find the positivity/lesson/meaning behind it all in your own time.

OKAY, let’s continue. I *promise* to not go on a tangent again.

I lost my job. At the beginning of November. And that fucking sucked. Took the breath right out of my body. Seriously, I couldn’t even talk (which is rare because I never stop talking). It came out of the blue and just like that the past 4 years of my work with this company were done. My best friend came over within 20 minutes of me telling him and I broke. Fell apart. Snot nose and all. It wasn’t pretty. I allowed myself that one day to be sad. To eat the whole bag of spicy chips that I so so love and overexaggerate that this was the end of the world for me.

BUT the very next day and even up until now, I’ve been hustling and honestly, it’s been *kind* of fun, but it also has sucked because hello, lack of security.

I’ve put myself out there.

Revamped my resume.

Got back into the swing of things with interviews (ask me anything, I’m a pro at this point).

And the best part about this hustle is that it reignited my passion for my career again. Something that was dimming for a while. This was a blessing in disguise.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s been hard. I’ve questioned why this happened to me a thousand times. I’ve wondered why I still haven’t been hired. I’ve stressed about money. The list goes on and on. But I’ve never been so confident. In myself. In my abilities. In the fact that I know, I’m going to be okay. OH, and side note, I did get a part-time side hustle gig online that I’m loving. Girl is just looking for something in addition to. Didn’t want you all worried about me.

OKAY, here are some highlights for me

I watched two of my bestest friends get married this year. One in June and the other in September. And I had the honour to stand up beside both of them. AND I got to witness them marry their soulmates. How fucking lucky am I?

I traveled to EUROPE. My dream destination since forever. It gave me chills. Some places brought tears to my eyes (of happiness, don’t worry) and I learned so much about culture, history and myself. Stay tuned in the new year for blog posts on some of my favourite places that I visited!

And if you’re currently planning your travel plans for the new year and don’t have time to wait for my travel guides/recommendations, add the Isle of Skye to your list. You WON’T be disappointed.

I also moved into my favourite place yet. AND I did it all on my own. This is my first house/apartment that’s completely me (and my nugget of course) and it feels damn good. Independence for the win!

There are so many good things that happened this year that I haven’t mentioned, but I think my favourite is me falling back in love with myself. Somewhere along the way over the past little bit, I gave and gave and gave and forgot to replenish me. Ooops, just started crying ha. I’m an emotional wreck. Anyone who knows me will attest to that. But seriously. I took a step back (hard for me), especially because at my core, I am a lover, giver and I try so fucking hard to make sure everyone around me feels safe and loved. And me focusing on myself for the first time in a long time changed things for the better.

My mantra for myself this new year is to be unapologetically me.

I’m going to love me for me and not apologize for how sensitive I can be. Or how emotional I am (all the time). I’m going to still give and give and give, but know that when Megan needs a break, Megan needs to take time for herself. And I’m not going to apologize for that. And that feels good.

How about a little gratefulness list

  1. Olive. My little baby cat. My nugget. The love of my life
  2. My parents. My sister. My family
  3. My incredible, amazing, there for me always friends
  4. My health
  5. My mind
  6. My heart and soul
  7. My tenacity and drive
  8. My home – I’ve never loved a place I’ve lived more
  9. Music. Especially Mumford and anything that gets me to close my eyes and twirl my hands in the air
  10. And you

The list goes on and on. I’m grateful for a lot. I’m very lucky. I know how lucky I am. And something I’m going to work on starting now and always is knowing how lucky I am and appreciating what I have.

My decade at a quick glance.

I’ve been softened by heartbreak. But I know that I’ve been strengthened through every bump in the road I’ve been through. I have experienced love like I’ve never known and continue to stretch myself to love harder. It’s ingrained in me. I love to love. I’m grateful for every high and every low. They all taught me something and I grew from them.

I grew up this past decade. I’ve lived most of my twenties these past ten years and it’s been quite the ride. I’m not sure what the next ten will bring, but I’m excited. I think life is just getting started.

OKAY, that’s what I have for you folks!

I hope you had the best year and if not, I’m sorry about that. Life isn’t always fair and it throws challenges at you all the time. Just know that things will get better and I have a feeling this next year, this next decade, in fact, is going to be one fucking incredible ride.

Love always.

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